Cocktail Server Uses Facebook to Save A** and Face

April 29, 2013
Ass. Press –
An area cocktail server admitted Friday she’s been posting more pictures than usual of her boyfriend on Facebook just to “make sure a certain someone knows I’m not available”. Stonebridge’s own Taylor Lansing, 23, has been serving up Jack and Coke’s at Ignition Bar and Grill for over a year now and says that while the job is working out with her class schedule, she’s tired of some of the attention local clients have been giving her. For the somewhat attractive server, Facebook has been her salvation.

“I mean without it, I dunno what I’d do. It’s not like I’m gonna be honest and tell people I’m with someone, ya know? For a server that’s death. But this way people can take a hint without losing face.” When asked to name names Lansing remained mum, mumbling, “mo mook ah my macemoo mage.” A cursory look at her Facebook page revealed Chaz E. Martinez as the probable source of Lansing’s photo pasting frenzy. Martinez, an employee at Michael’s and “interested in women”, liked and/or commented on nearly everything Lansing posted over the past two months.

For Lansing, it’s been rather annoying. “Look, I can’t afford to lose tips and I don’t want to unfriend people just because they have some weirdo obsession with me or whatever. But I also don’t want to have to customize another friend list. Who has the time for that bull$_!#, ya know?”

Martinez was online and did accept our Friend Request, however,  he would not reply to our Instant Message for comment.

Meanwhile, Lansing is hopeful that her latest Facebook cover photo will send a strong but friendly message to her 945 friends.  At the time of this posting, 25 had given a thumbs up to the photo. Martinez was not one of them.

Taylor Lansing and her boyfriend in Cabo 2013

Taylor Lansing and her boyfriend in Cabo 2013

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